when people start getting close to your friends
"I heard that!"
that’s exactly what I would do
1. Girls Shalt Not Have Sex.
(someone asked me what the guy word for ‘slut’ is
and I couldn’t find an answer.
it’s an old story: a rumour goes around that so-and-so
blew a boy in the disabled toilets.
the girl fakes a cough to get herself sent home
to escape the classroom-wide hiss of ‘slut’
while the boy she blew walks into the same class
and is greeted by an onslaught of high-fives)
2. Girls Shalt Love Boys.
(when I was ten, there was a movie trailer where two girls
leaned in for a kiss, and I felt sick for the rest of the day.
it took four years
along with faux-casual questions to friends
useless quizzes on the internet
entries in a diary that I later scribbled out
to admit, fine, okay, yes,
and another year after that to say it without mumbling)
3. Girls Shalt Not Be Bitches.
(it took over ten years of school for me to realize
my women teachers got called bitches
for doing things that my male teachers got called efficient for.
we were assigned to a group project in science class
and whenever my friend tried to tell the others to quiet down
so they could get on with the work,
she was jeered into silence
and she never found it fair that her boyfriend did
the same thing and the noise stopped.)
4. Girls Shalt Have A Vagina.
(she introduced herself with a deep voice and a gushing smile.
she had a pink dress and an adam’s apple
she had a necklace resting above her cleavage
she had escaped from an all-boys high school
and I didn’t understand until I learned later
gender is more than the two rigid boxes
that we are told to tick one of)
5. Girls Shalt Smile.
(he frowned when the subject was brought up
and he shrugged a lot as he explained
that we look better when we smile. Less hostile.
His shrugs stiffened when I asked him why we shouldn’t look hostile.
‘I dunno,’ he said, dropping to a mumble. ‘Girls aren’t s’posed to look hostile, I guess.’
The next time someone walked past me on the street
and told me to smile,
I gave him my sunniest grin
and a middle finger.)
5 out of 9 of these things I don’t even care for anyhow
Fuck you guys, flips flogs, jean shorts and shirts with shit on them is my entire wardrobe.
I’m a guy and I HATE flip-flops! I also dislike shorts in general
I do wear a fedora occasionally, but it’s an actual fedora and not a fucking trilby.
and I’m not sure if my mustache counts as ‘little’ or not, since it’s not super thick, but it’s part of an actual full beard.
You guys are, once again, missing the fucking point.
You know that feeling of outrage you got from reading this? The sense of, “how dare anyone tell me what to wear? I can wear whatever clothes I like.”
THAT’S HOW WOMEN FEEL ALL THE FUCKING TIME.
So YOU don’t like it when someone says your clothing choices are stupid? Good. STOP SAYING IT TO WOMEN THEN.
Wow, I never reblog these kinds of things, but… they said the thing. Thank you for saying the thing.
FUCKING BOLDING THAT SHIT
He’s just mad because he can’t acquire all the apple juice that I’m acquiring. (x)
Can u believe there are plants that are illegal
Can you believe there is love that is illegal
when you ask ur crush who they like and they say someone else’s name and you act like you’re fine